My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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