Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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