Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
