don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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