whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
