he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
