I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
