YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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