i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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