Sry I called you an 8
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need to calm my uterus...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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