OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
