shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
