I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
