Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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