im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she smelled like a LAN party
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
