Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
