i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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