Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he fucked my hip out of place.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
