:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
