Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
