Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
