U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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