the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
