Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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