Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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