You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
