you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
