We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
