With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
