I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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