So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
