Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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