So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Randomize
