Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
