I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
