i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
