1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
