pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
