I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
