She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
