Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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