we're blogging at a bar
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
