Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
