im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
