She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
