Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
