Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I need water and some morals
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The ass gains better be worth it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
