Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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