so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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