Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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