ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
50% drunk capacity currently
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
