I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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